Acting Like A Super Villain

Bex, if you’re reading this, stop now.

Just close it.

X out and go do something else.

If any other Incredi-Reader is near her, please take her phone and throw it out the window because we all know she’s not going to listen me.

Waiting…waiting…Okay is she gone?

Good.

Today I’m going to talk about a major flaw of mine and I don’t want her getting ideas that I am anything less than perfect. But I’m guessing it’s too late for that.

When Good Heroes Go Bad

Every once in a while even the best heroes Go bad.

Hal Jordan was the noble Green Lantern until his home, was destroyed by an alien. He goes mad and becomes the villainous Parallax. He even attacks and kills the rest of his fellow Green Lantern Corps. It would be many many years before this once great hero redeemed himself.

Superman may stand for truth, justice, and the American way but that doesn’t mean he’s invulnerable to a little corruption. During the Injustice story, the Joker tricks Superman into killing Lois Lane and their unborn child. Driven mad by the loss of his family, Superman murders Joker and establishes a new world order.

Even The IncrediDad (yes even me) has fallen from grace.

Hero to Zero

I was cleaning the living room today. At first Boy Wonder was easily distracted by his wagon of toys or what was going on outside our big picture window. Both were on the other side of the room so he and I could coexist peacefully. After I pulled out the couch, he decided it was time to lend Daddy a helping hand.

I tried distracting him with a pile of books but he decided that wasn’t good enough. He needed to tear apart a bag of trash I had near me. Then he decided it was time to climb Mt. Daddy. (P.S. If anyone ever wondered why men have those little hairs on our legs, it’s for our kids to pull themselves up by. I imagine it’s like a mini rock climbing wall to them.)

Before I knew what I was doing, I snapped at him. Ignoring the innocent smile and the mischievous giggle, I yelled in my meanest dad voice, “That hurt! I’m trying to work! Can’t you entertain yourself for a minute?!”

Then everything happened in slow motion. His tears swelled up and they made my heart sink. We both needed a time out so I set him down in the play pen which made him howl like he was being sentenced to a lifetime in baby jail. That’s when Bex came back in the room and I started yelling at her too. “I can’t take it. He won’t stop crying! He doesn’t do this to you!”

My personal goal is to talk to my son with the same level of respect and kindness that I use to talk to Bex. I guess I succeeded but not the way I wanted to. There was no kindness or respect in the way I talked to either of them.

Redemption

What was wrong with me? What just happened went against everything I believe as a parent and a person. I needed help. So I turned to the trusty old internet.

Somebody pointed me towards this idea that I needed to adjust my attitude the way others need to break a bad habbit.

For example:

I could keep hair ties on my wrist. Whenever I lose my cool with Bex or the baby I would have to move one hair tie to the other wrist. The idea is that I want to end the day with all the hair ties on the original wrist.

I figured it was worth a shot. Anything is better than a repeat performance of the Banshee Routine. So I tip-toed into the bathroom and “borrowed” some hair ties from Bex. They’re for a good cause. I told myself.

The Sopranos For Superheroes

Even though I decided to be a superhero overnight, it took a while to learn the bad habits of a super villain. This self therapy is going to last two weeks. Why did I impose an arbitrary deadline? There is a myth that a new habit can be formed in that time but science has debunked that for us. I picked a deadline for the same reason I wrote a blog post about it, accountability.

Now that you know my dirty little secret, dear IncrediReader, it will motivate me to strive for results. I’ll keep you posted on my progress. And if you see me, feel free to count the number of hair ties on my wrist.

Incredible Progress

A good hero knows they have to admit their mistakes. A great hero doesn’t dwell on it. He learns from his mistakes, dusts off the cape, and springs back stronger as he saves the day.

Like my own hero says, “Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.”

Okay, we’re done here.

Someone tell Bex she can come back to the website now.

And if you’re the person who actually threw her phone out the window, like I told you too, go apologize. That was rude.

Remember IncrediDads, “You either chose to be a hero or see yourself become the villain.”