Trials of Toilet Training

Did you know that there are apps to help with potty training? Why the hell would anyone want that? Call me old fashioned, but I believe technology and the toilet are the farthest thing from peanut butter and chocolate. This sentiment goes double for any tech that is “smart” or “connected”. There’s a reason it’s called Twitter and not Shitter. Of course, I’m guilty of scrolling…
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National Lampoon’s Cross-Country Vacation

"Well I'll tell you something, this is no longer a vacation...it's a quest. It's a quest for fun! I'm gonna have fun and you're gonna have fun! We're all gonna have so much f***in' fun we'll need plastic surgery to remove our damn smiles! You'll be whistling Zip-A-Dee-Doo-Dah out of your assholes!!!!"- Clark Griswold, National Lampoon's Vacation Yesterday, I packed the car for what will not be…
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Our San Franciscan Day

You probably figured we’d be halfway across the country by now, huh? Surprise! We are still in the same state we started, only eight hours North. We wanted to visit Bex’s side of the family for a few days. It's been a lot of fun. Of course I love spending time with family but I always look forward to a day in San Francisco. It’s on my list of Top 10 Favorite Cities in the world. Here’s…
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A House Is Not A Home

We moved out of our apartment today. After weeks of packing, trashing, and cleaning, this was a really big deal for us. Obviously it was not as big of a deal for our landlord who never showed up for our move-out appointment. Martha, if you’re reading this, we left the keys and garage remote on the kitchen counter. Good bye and good luck! Maybe you remember me describing our apartment two years…
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Don’t Lie Or I’ll Tell Santa

Every parent lies to their kid and that is a fact. But I like to think of it as acting. In my humble opinion, if any casting agent witnessed the performances I've turned in to my kid, they'd have me on Broadway, Motion Pictures, maybe even Netflix! When I read "Car, Car, Truck, Jeep" for the five hundredth time, I still pretend like it's my first. Boy Wonder watched me pee in the toilet the…
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Updated Resume and CV

Dear Selection Committee Of My Future Career, Being an IncrediDad is by far the most rewarding career I've ever had but even Bruce Wayne needed a day job. The last time I had to update my resume and cover letter, Barrack Obama was still serving his first term as President of the United States, The Office was in it's eighth season, my car was still new, and I had a thirty-four inch waist. I'm not…
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Simple Distractions

IncreiMom and I like to treat Boy Wonder to the fine dining experiences of Red Robin, IHOP, and occasionally Arby's. It's really a great deal. He shares off of my plate, which cuts calories for me. Then I burn off whatever I am able to shovel in my mouth (inside ten seconds) by chasing him around the restaurant after he declares "All done!". I don’t even feel guilty because it's dinner and a…
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Spending Time With Your Sidekick Even When Life Is Busy.

Parents are spending more time with their children than parents of any other generation since the 1960s. According to a recent study, modern parents spend close to an hour more taking care of their kids than parents did in 1965. But is that quantity of time really adding up to more quality time? Spending time with your little sidekick is how you are going to show that you love them. But…
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Excuses

I've got a million of them. When Bex asks me why I haven't done the dishes, I can usually get away with using Boy Wonder as my excuse. He's too young to know I'm using him as my scapegoat but every once in a while he gives me an accusing look that makes me wonder if he suspects what I am up to. But I have excuses for everything. I have excuses for not working out, for eating an entire pint of…
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Dance Class With IncrediDad and Boy Wonder

Up until a month ago, I thought a pirouette was a kind of cookie. Turns out, it is a dance move. You see, Boy Wonder has been taking Ballet Class once a week and we are both learning so much. For example, you wouldn’t believe how many ballet terms sound food related: Sauté (so-Tay): please sauté that chicken with peppers and onions! Battement (Bot-Mah): I know I’ve ordered this from my…
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