Christmas Presents

To be honest, kids do not need most of the expensive things we buy them, but we get them anyway. This is our first Christmas with a kid but I can safely assume it will only get worse. What two month old, needs two electric cars he can ride in, a train he can ride on, a menagerie of stuffed animals that could fill a zoo, and so much more? Oh, that was little me, twenty-nine years ago? Adjusting…
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Breaking Up With Sleep

I gave up on my relationship with sleep a long time ago. It never would have worked out between us anyways. I'm a night-owl and an early riser. It would wind up being more of a long distance relationship anyway. Bex, on the other hand, really loves her sleep. I think her secret life goal is to be one of those Disney princesses that just lays around napping until her prince shows up. As soon as…
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Oh The Places We’ll Go

Luke is only six weeks old which means a couple of things: 1) He's not great at conversation and 2) He's pretty damn lazy. Seriously, the kid just lays around all day, crapping his pants. Occasionally he demands attention from me, and like a good servant, I obey. But I'm lazy. So if I can find a shortcut to take me back to couch potatoland, nine times out of ten I'll take it. Wouldn't you? For…
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”Twas two weeks before Christmas”

Twas two weeks before Christmas, On baby's first year. It felt like his parents hadn't slept in a year. Bills left unpaid, presents unbought, even the dog was left there unwalked The laundry was tossed on the floor without care. Why bother cleaning now? Next week our relatives will be there; But Luke was nestled all snug in his crib, with traces of breast milk left there on his bib And Bex in…
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Baby-cizing

You know what I loved most about Bex's pregnancy? Our stomach's were the same size, at least for a few weeks at the end. It was great. Now we could share t-shirts. What a laundry saver! Right after delivery, her belly was still puffed out. She was so upset about it that she would say things like, "Babe, will you still love me if I'm fat?" And as I took another bite of my donut I'd say "Well you…
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Daddy’s Private Office

Listen up dearest family of mine; Just because I sit down on the toilet, it does not mean I want to hold an emergency family meeting. Contrary to popular belief, the bathroom is not the family board room. It is my Batcave, my fortress of solitude. It's where I go to get a moment of silence, however brief that might be. Our dog and cat are always the first to follow me in there. Zoey stands guard…
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“Groundhog Dad” Starring David Gaygen

Do you remember the movie "Groundhog Day" starring Bill Murray? I feel like my life has turned into a cruel and twisted version of that since I've gone back to work. In the film, a jaded weatherman has to relive the same day over and over until he gets it right. In real life, I returned to work this week and I'm forced to live the same day over and over until I get it right . . . or at least…
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Let’s Wrap

Just the other day, I found out that some countries think we're strange for using a stroller. Can you believe that? Do you mean to tell me that Americans are wrong about something? When was the last time that happened? Uh. Hang on, the President just tweeted again . . . I love my stroller. It keeps Luke comfortable and safe while providing me with something to lean on and a cup holder for my…
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Sibling Rivalry

We have two pets, a cat and a dog. Zoey is a six year old Maltese dog who enjoys long walks in the evening, cliched barking at the mailman, and snuggling with her humans. T.C. (short for Trouble Clef) is a short haired tiger who enjoys sitting in the window, sharpening his claws on my thighs, and silently judging his humans from across the room. These two members of the family have been pretty…
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Our First Date

Bex and I had our first date the day before Thanksgiving. Actually it was our first date A.D. (After Delivery). It wouldn't have happened except that my mom was in town and she offered her services as babysitter. That's a polite way of saying that she kicked us out so she could spend quality time with her grandson. After reading my mom the riot act of Luke's routine, do's and don'ts, and…
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