Forget about learning shapes, colors, and numbers at Day Care. I’ve got a theory about what really happens after we drop off our kids and head to work. To get the scoop, I’ve sent my faithful sidekick, Boy Wonder, deep under cover, to reveal what really happens over a week at daycare. At pick up on Tuesday, his speech was slurred. Wednesday he had red-puffy eyes. By Thursday night he was vomiting. By Friday he had to tap out. My conclusion: daycare is nothing more than a toddler frat house.
Extra clothes and . . .more diapers?
They told us point blank at sign-up that he would need extra clothes and diapers. Sounds like a fun weekend in Vegas to me. I already knew Boy Wonder was in for a good time. So imagine my surprise when the teacher informed me that we needed to send in more diapers? It was only day two. Didn’t I send a full sleeve of diapers with him on the first day? Come on, we all know a guy who peed his pants after a long night of indulgence in college. I just never thought that guy would be my kid.
Juice Boxes and Tuna Fish
Sure, his slightly older pledge brothers may prefer to shotgun a can of beer but I’ve watched Boy Wonder pull the same trick with a juice box on a daily basis. Maybe that explains the excessive diaper usage.
We all ate our fair of gross food in college. There’s ramen noodles, cheese-whiz on crackers, or over-cooked eggs made by a less than sober student at three a.m. Well the daycare features their share of “frat food” too. I’m talking about tuna fish. Now I know everyone may not share the same opinion as me but you also didn’t have it shoved up your nose at some point. Like I said, we all have that one gross food that makes us cringe and of course, he eats it.
This may come as a shock to some of you but, even in college, I was never in the club gettin’ tipsy. The thumping bass of EDM brings on massive headaches that only a full bottle of Excedrin and a day of napping can cure. The sound track to a day at day care (featuring the musical harmonies of Daniel Tiger, Elmo, and Barney) have the same nauseating effect.
After picking Boy Wonder up from a day at day care, he stumbles into his car seat looking like he just came home from a weekend with the brothers of Tappa Tappa Keg.
Better out than in though, when a Bro has partied to hardy, be that bro 22 years, or 22 months, of age. It’s comes no surprise with all those kids put together in such a close space. They are bound to pass around new germs. For Boy Wonder it ended in lots and lots of puking,
We Survived Pledge Week
He may have had to sit out Friday’s excitement but Boy Wonder survived pledge week at day care and has officially joined the fraternity of Bie-Mumma-Papa. I love my adventurous little toddler and I see a lot of my college self in him. It makes me proud to know that soon he will be jumping off couches like someone dared him too or streaking naked without a care in the world. Oh wait, that happened this morning.
They grow up so fast don’t they?