National Lampoon’s Cross-Country Vacation

"Well I'll tell you something, this is no longer a vacation...it's a quest. It's a quest for fun! I'm gonna have fun and you're gonna have fun! We're all gonna have so much f***in' fun we'll need plastic surgery to remove our damn smiles! You'll be whistling Zip-A-Dee-Doo-Dah out of your assholes!!!!"- Clark Griswold, National Lampoon's Vacation Yesterday, I packed the car for what will not be…
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Our San Franciscan Day

You probably figured we’d be halfway across the country by now, huh? Surprise! We are still in the same state we started, only eight hours North. We wanted to visit Bex’s side of the family for a few days. It's been a lot of fun. Of course I love spending time with family but I always look forward to a day in San Francisco. It’s on my list of Top 10 Favorite Cities in the world. Here’s…
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A House Is Not A Home

We moved out of our apartment today. After weeks of packing, trashing, and cleaning, this was a really big deal for us. Obviously it was not as big of a deal for our landlord who never showed up for our move-out appointment. Martha, if you’re reading this, we left the keys and garage remote on the kitchen counter. Good bye and good luck! Maybe you remember me describing our apartment two years…
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Oprah’s Got Nothing On Me

I feel a lot like Oprah this week. And the movers get a thousand dollars! The auto-hauler gets a thousand dollars! Whoops there goes another thousand just for funsies! As I spend my meager fortune far faster than I ever made it, I'm starting to wonder why we have so much crap. When I moved to California almost a decade ago, I had three boxes and an iPod packed into the back of my SUV. That was…
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Simple Distractions

IncreiMom and I like to treat Boy Wonder to the fine dining experiences of Red Robin, IHOP, and occasionally Arby's. It's really a great deal. He shares off of my plate, which cuts calories for me. Then I burn off whatever I am able to shovel in my mouth (inside ten seconds) by chasing him around the restaurant after he declares "All done!". I don’t even feel guilty because it's dinner and a…
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Spending Time With Your Sidekick Even When Life Is Busy.

Parents are spending more time with their children than parents of any other generation since the 1960s. According to a recent study, modern parents spend close to an hour more taking care of their kids than parents did in 1965. But is that quantity of time really adding up to more quality time? Spending time with your little sidekick is how you are going to show that you love them. But…
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Excuses

I've got a million of them. When Bex asks me why I haven't done the dishes, I can usually get away with using Boy Wonder as my excuse. He's too young to know I'm using him as my scapegoat but every once in a while he gives me an accusing look that makes me wonder if he suspects what I am up to. But I have excuses for everything. I have excuses for not working out, for eating an entire pint of…
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Swimming Tips For Toddlers Under Two

If mermaids were real then my son would be Aquaman. He loves bath-time, shower-time, trips to the pool, and a day at the beach. If there’s water involved, Boy Wonder will play until his fingers are nice and pruny. Being part fish runs in the family though. IncrediMom and I are both swimmers from way back. My first job was Lifeguard and Swim Instructor at my local YMCA. That or your community…
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Auld Lang Syne

Parents, tonight when the ball drops and everyone is trying to sing the song they can't remember the words to, replace those "Auld lang syne" lyrics with "days gone by". You'll be able to sing along with confidence knowing the song's true meaning. And know that, when you refill your glass, you're celebrating not the days (because they tend to stretch on far too long) but the year gone by (and…
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The Boubons

Now that we're past Thanksgiving and Christmas is right around the corner, we've entered that five-week stretch I like to call Cold and Flu Season. We all got our flu shots this year, so I thought we were safe, but a strange and mysterious new super-villain has invaded our house. He came without warning and struck hard. His effects are lingering and annoying. His name is The Boubons. His first…
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