National Lampoon’s Cross-Country Vacation

"Well I'll tell you something, this is no longer a vacation...it's a quest. It's a quest for fun! I'm gonna have fun and you're gonna have fun! We're all gonna have so much f***in' fun we'll need plastic surgery to remove our damn smiles! You'll be whistling Zip-A-Dee-Doo-Dah out of your assholes!!!!"- Clark Griswold, National Lampoon's Vacation Yesterday, I packed the car for what will not be…
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Our San Franciscan Day

You probably figured we’d be halfway across the country by now, huh? Surprise! We are still in the same state we started, only eight hours North. We wanted to visit Bex’s side of the family for a few days. It's been a lot of fun. Of course I love spending time with family but I always look forward to a day in San Francisco. It’s on my list of Top 10 Favorite Cities in the world. Here’s…
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Raising Children Who Could Change The World

“There's a lot of ugly things in this world, son. I wish I could keep 'em all away from you. That's never possible.” ― Harper Lee, To Kill a Mockingbird I read to Boy Wonder every night before bedtime. He listens for about a half and hour and then passes out for the night. So it’s safe to assume that “audiobook narrator” is not a career I will be pursuing anytime soon. Imagine the ad…
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A House Is Not A Home

We moved out of our apartment today. After weeks of packing, trashing, and cleaning, this was a really big deal for us. Obviously it was not as big of a deal for our landlord who never showed up for our move-out appointment. Martha, if you’re reading this, we left the keys and garage remote on the kitchen counter. Good bye and good luck! Maybe you remember me describing our apartment two years…
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Product Review – O’Neill Baby Life Jacket

O'Neill Wake Waterski Infant USCG Vest I don't do product reviews often and **disclaimer** this is an unpaid endorsement. That being said, this life jacket is amazing and I'll tell you why. Boy Wonder hated the pool when we went on vacation this past February. I'm talking crocodile tears, shaking, and all. He put up with the kiddie pool at the waterpark in July but there were still plenty of…
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Don’t Lie Or I’ll Tell Santa

Every parent lies to their kid and that is a fact. But I like to think of it as acting. In my humble opinion, if any casting agent witnessed the performances I've turned in to my kid, they'd have me on Broadway, Motion Pictures, maybe even Netflix! When I read "Car, Car, Truck, Jeep" for the five hundredth time, I still pretend like it's my first. Boy Wonder watched me pee in the toilet the…
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Table Manners, Toddlers, and A Tale Of Two Cities

An old childhood trauma resurfaced when I read an article in The Sunday Times today. The author, India Knight, talked about Etiquette vs. Manners. I’ve always found etiquette intimidating; a feeling that has recently returned since the birth of my son. Anyone with a toddler who can spin in circles faster the Tasmanian devil would know what I’m talking about. When I was younger, my parents…
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Oprah’s Got Nothing On Me

I feel a lot like Oprah this week. And the movers get a thousand dollars! The auto-hauler gets a thousand dollars! Whoops there goes another thousand just for funsies! As I spend my meager fortune far faster than I ever made it, I'm starting to wonder why we have so much crap. When I moved to California almost a decade ago, I had three boxes and an iPod packed into the back of my SUV. That was…
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Choose Your Own Adventure

For me, there is nothing more stressful than finishing a chapter of a Choose Your Own Adventure novel. Two-Face has Robin dangling over a vat of acid. You only have time to save Boy Wonder or catch the crook. Do you: a) Throw your batarang to slice through Robin's ropes, or b) Tackle Two-Face and deliver him to Commissioner Gordon. Uh...can't I do both? Why isn't that an option? Won't Robin be…
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Translating For Boy Wonder

Boy Wonder's vocabulary is expanding every day. It seems like just yesterday he said his first words, Da-da. Of course he did say that yesterday and this morning too. Basically whenever he wants something I get summoned with a hearty "Da-da!". These days he says plenty of words clearly "Car!", "Trucko!", "Ice Cream Man!", and "No!". I find myself marveling at the idea that I can communicate with…
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