The Dad Friendships Drought: You’re Not Alone
You know how people say, “It’s not you, it’s me”? Well, when it comes to dad friendships, it’s definitely me. And also you. And basically every dad who’s ever tried to strike up a conversation while our kids attempt to injure themselves on playground equipment.
Making friends as a dad is like trying to assemble IKEA furniture without instructions. You’re pretty sure there’s a right way to do it. But you keep ending up with extra pieces. The result is something that vaguely resembles what you wanted.
The Universal Dad Greeting: Breaking the Ice Without Breaking a Sweat
“How old is your kid?” is the universal dad greeting. It’s our version of a secret handshake. Instead of leading to an exclusive club, it usually leads to awkward silence. We stand there, two grown men, watching our children. We desperately try to remember how adults talked to each other. This was before we spent our days discussing juice box preferences.
I recently met a dad at the playground who seemed normal enough. He was wearing cargo shorts, so I knew he valued practicality over style – a good sign. We exchanged the customary kid-age information, and then came the dreaded lull. Do I ask what he does for work? Do I comment on his child’s impressive ability to eat sand? Is it too forward to suggest we exchange numbers after only five minutes of conversation?
Dad Dating Protocol: The Uncharted Territory
Dating at least has established protocols. Dad friendships are the Wild West. There’s no app for finding other dads who enjoy discussing lawn care techniques. And how on earth am I supposed to finds other guys with flexible definitions of what constitutes a “clean” car.
When you do break through that barrier, though? That’s when the magic happens. My buddy “Mike” and I met when our kids headbutted each other reaching for the same toy. After awkwardly apologizing for our respective tiny humans, we realized we both quoted the same obscure movie line in response. Three years later, he’s the guy I text at midnight about whether I should upgrade my grill. He’s also the guy who shows up unannounced with coffee when I mention my kids were up all night.
The Low-Maintenance Magic of Dad Friendships
Dad friends don’t need constant maintenance. We can go weeks without talking and pick up exactly where we left off. There’s no “We should grab lunch soon” followed by months of scheduling conflicts. It’s more like, “My kid has a two-hour soccer practice on Saturday. Want to stand awkwardly on the sidelines together and occasionally grunt in acknowledgment when something impressive happens?”
The best part about dad friends is the unspoken understanding. They don’t judge when you show up wearing whatever clothes weren’t in the laundry basket. They don’t mention the Goldfish crackers permanently embedded in your car seats. They just nod in solidarity because their life is equally chaotic.
Your Dad Friendships Journey Starts Today
If you see me at the park, please feel free to approach. I’ll be looking like I haven’t slept in years (because I haven’t). Just don’t expect smooth conversation. I’ll probably ask how old your kid is. Then I’ll make a dad joke that falls completely flat. I’ll panic and talk about the weather.
But stick around. Once we get past the awkward stage, you might just find yourself with a friend. This friend will help you move furniture without complaining. This friend will also text you lawn mower recommendations unprompted and never, ever expect you to discuss your feelings.
Unless we’re talking about feelings about baseball. That’s different. Go Giants!