Attack Of the Fifty-Foot Toddler!
Cue Dramatic Overture
INSERT – A revolving globe. When it stops revolving it turns briefly into a contour map of the United States, then into a flat map. Superimposed over this map are scenes of refugee parents fleeing from suburban houses by foot, car, and bicycle.
The images of map and refugees disappear. In its place, a peaceful suburban house.
As the most grotesque
monstrosity of all…
We are looking at an empty hallway. A door opens a crack and a tomcat desperately makes his escape.
A gigantic toddler emerges from the same door wielding a plastic baseball bat and calling for his feline friend ever-so-sweetly. With each new call, he grows, and grows, and keeps growing.
Kitty-cat! Come back kitty-cat!
Once he was an adorably cute baby.
Now he’s on a rampage of diaper rash and destruction.
Make no mistake,
He will reach new heights in terror.
Standing in the ruble of their ruined home, shaded by their toddler’s shadow MOTHER and FATHER plan their next move.
When did our boy get so big?
It feels like just yesterday
I was rocking him to sleep.
That was yesterday. And now…
(he looks towards up to the sky)
More grotesque than Godzilla.
More dangerous than a Tazmanian Devil.
IT’S THE ATTACK OF THE FIFTY FOOT TODDLER!
The gigantic toddler goes on a rampage across the city. Playing with real cars like Hot Wheels. Making them crash and laughing hysterically.
INCREDIDAD flies onto the scene, hovering at The Fifty-Foot toddler’s eye level.
Put down the cars buddy. It’s time for a—
From the ground, Mother looks up horrified.
Don’t say it!
BOY WONDER’S face goes from happy to horrified. He howls monstrously and cries crocodile tears that do major damage as they land on the street below.
NO NAP! I PLAY WITH CARS! NO NAP!
He swats INCREDIDAD to the ground without effort.
One man in a horrified crowd shouts for help.
Help! Somebody do something! Why
doesn’t someone stop that monster!
That’s no monster. He’s my baby!
—And he needs his MOMMY!
MOTHER rips open her shirt to reveal her INCREDIMOM costume underneath. She’s looks up, ready to save the day