The Dad Knight

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“Because we have to chase him. Because he’s the hero Gotham deserves, but not the one it needs right now, so we’ll hunt him. Because he can take it, because he’s not a hero. He’s a silent guardian, a watchful protector, a Dark Knight.
– Commissioner Gordon, The Dark Knight
– Also my son says this about me, you just can’t understand him yet.

As a Dad you are both Bruce Wayne and Batman. On one hand, you seem to hold a lot of power, but you mostly fulfill a ceremonial role. In the eyes of your children, you do little more than attend games, recitals, and order pizza.

I’m never the first choice. Boy Wonder doesn’t even mask it, which I respect him for. “Let’s see, the crabby guy with the loud voice or that warm soft lady that feeds me.” It’s not even close.

IncrediMom is Batman, while I am Commissioner Gordon. I’m the guy who stands in front of the press and says, “Crime will not be tolerated in our fair city.” right as the Joker shows up to make a liar out of me. Everyone in Gotham City knows that when you need something, you don’t go to the police, you flip on the Batsignal and wait for the real hero to show up. Most Dads know they are Commissioner Gordon and they are fine with it. Being BatMom is a position outside of our pay grade or skill set. We can’t breastfeed, and we wouldn’t know how to paint toenails anyway.

There are times when we are presented as the Dad Knight , Enforcer of Justice. “Just wait until your father gets home!”, “Do you. know what your son did today?” Suddenly the useless cop has to put on the cape and cowl? To make things worse; It’s usually impossible for me to keep a somber face while I hear about the crimes he’s supposedly committed under my wife’s watch. Sometimes I think, “Where did you come up with that?” and other times I say, “Hah, I know exactly where he gets that from.” So I put on my business face and we both go through the motions but I see that smirk curling up in the corner of his mouth. This charade feels false because we both know what happens after Commissioner Gordon makes an arrest. Batman swoops in to clean up the mess when Joker escapes all over again.

They should have just send Batman to deal with it in the first place.

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